


To Be Decided

by twowritehands



Category: Mission: Impossible (Movies)
Genre: Bisexual Character, Exhibitionism, Hurt/Comfort, Multi, Polyamorous Character, Polyamory, Threesome - F/M/M, Voyeurism
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-28
Updated: 2020-11-28
Packaged: 2021-03-10 06:01:02
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,533
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27749416
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/twowritehands/pseuds/twowritehands
Summary: After the helicopter crash in Kashmir, Ethan decides to stop ping ponging between Benji and Ilsa. But he can't choose one either, so he makes an outlandish request from his hospital bed.
Relationships: Benji Dunn/Ethan Hunt, Benji Dunn/Ethan Hunt/Ilsa Faust, Benji Dunn/Ilsa Faust, Ilsa Faust/Ethan Hunt
Comments: 4
Kudos: 26





	To Be Decided

**Author's Note:**

> The challenge here was telling a complex story from Ethan's limited, drugged POV. Let us know if it works!

Ethan Hunt had a dilemma. It wasn't to do with Lane or the bombs they just defused. Or Sloan glaring from the door of the tent. It wasn't even his broken body, or Doctor Beardy Blue Eyes (who had definitely guessed that Ethan wasn't just a fellow doctor from Julia's past). 

The dilemma was this: his wife. Talking to Ilsa. In front of Benji. The only three people Ethan had ever loved were in the same room.

He needed to know the details. How long had he been out? How long had they been sitting at his bedside, getting to know each other?

Benji knew about Julia and Ilsa. Ilsa knew about Benji but not Julia--and poor Julia had known nothing about any of them. ….Maybe it made things less awkward for her having a surprise husband now that she knew he had a surprise girlfriend  _ and _ a surprise boyfriend.

Ilsa whispered something in Julia's ear and came to his side. Ethan burned with curiosity but knew better than to ask. No eyes were scratched out, so obviously, everyone was being an adult about this.

Unless they were giving him an Almost Dead pass.

By the looks of things, his fight with Walker wasn't the only trouble. Ilsa had dark bruises on her alabaster skin.

"How close were we?" Benji asked from the doorway.

"The usual," Ethan said. 

"The usual?" Ilsa asked.

"Please don't make me laugh."

His entire body hurt, but in a distant way that meant there were some drugs dulling the worst of it. Oh boy, was he really not okay. 

But no one had died. That was the important thing. He'd do it again in a heartbeat. Even the part where Julia was here. Because, in a weird way, that was the best part. He felt real closure for the first time since the divorce. He could move on. No more having to date more than one person to keep things from getting too real… 

Enough was enough. The juggling act had to end. He would have to choose one of them and be All In from now on. He gazed into Ilsa's eyes. 

...Ilsa, or Benji?

He beckoned Benji over. Benji hesitated and then sidled closer with his hands in his pockets; strictly friend mode, though his cheeks were still damp.

"You crashed both helicopters," he said roughly, "I know I've said it before, Ethan, but you really did take it too far this time. You could have been torn to shreds."

It wasn't so much a reprimand as a voice for the fear of what might have happened. Ethan hushed him and explained, "I didn't know what else to do." He clocked similar bruises on Benji's neck and brushed his fingers over those marks, too. "What happened here?"

"We captured Lane." Ilsa said.

Ethan exhaled, taking both their hands. He chuckled, and it hurt but he didn't care now that he knew Lane was no longer free. "That's my babes."

Benji and Ilsa snorted lightly, trading looks. Ethan waited for someone to take their hand back. No one did. His heart fluttered. Maybe he didn't have to choose after all.

He tried to think it out, but just felt sleepy. It was pretty simple anyway. He wanted them both. They were all bisexual; compatible. Yeah… it worked… . 

"...I love you, babes."

"What drugs do they have you on?" Benji asked, brow wrinkled with humor. Did he think it was a joke that Ethan loved him too?

"I don't know. I'm floating. And I'm happy..." his eyes drifted shut, but he squeezed their hands. This wasn't a joke. They were both safe, and here with him, with love in their eyes as they looked at him. This was the happiest Ethan had felt in almost 15 years. His work life and love life were finally  _ balanced _ . This was what it felt like to have no worries whatsoever.

And the miraculous part? They both fawned over him without demanding explanations. They just kept stroking his cheek and combing his hair. Benji's heavy, calloused palm and Ilsa's silky, cooler touch lulled him to sleep....

He woke again in a medical helicopter. Fragments of the mission returned to him before he remembered the most important part. He had decided not to choose between his boyfriend or his girlfriend. And they weren't fighting over him.

Luther was asleep with a blanket tucked under his chin. When Ethan turned his head, he saw Ilsa and Benji strapped in side by side. She was turned in her seat so that her legs could drape over Benji's knees. He held her calves as they talked quietly. They both had little smiles on their faces. He made her laugh and shake her head.

Then Benji's eyes slid over to Ethan.

Ethan winked. Benji blew his cover by pointing at him. Ilsa glanced over and blew Ethan a kiss.

He tried to catch it and return it, but his body was too heavy to move. He drifted back off. 

****

Ethan spent a full twenty four hours in the headquarters medical wing for observation. At some point in the night, he woke in pain and buzzed for a nurse, who appeared within seconds and made him more comfortable. The way she moved quietly and whispered drew Ethan's attention to the fact that he wasn't alone in the room. Benji and Ilsa had stayed. His head was on her shoulder, mouth open with intermittent snores. Her cheek was resting against his forehead. She had her arm around him, hand flat on his bicep as if she'd drifted off during a soothing rub on his arm. 

"Psst," Ethan said loud enough to wake her. 

Her eyes flew open, and her surprised jolt woke Benji. They both blinked hazily and smiled shyly at one another before coming closer to the bed. 

"Hey. You're awake." Benji sounded too happy for this to be a real reprimand. "You need to be resting."

"So do the two of you."

They descended upon him with more of those loving caresses and touches that had taken over his dreams. He still found it strange to wake from pleasure instead of alarm or fear. 

He hummed softly. "You should be in a comfortable bed somewhere. Go. I'll join you first thing tomorrow."

Benji's face erupted with shock and amusement, breath wheezy. "A bed, is it? Just the one?"

Ilsa laughed out loud; a nervous fluttery sound unlike her. Ethan's brow twitched, and he lifted his head. "Wait. Am I making assumptions here or...?"

"Uuuumm," Benji glanced at Ilsa who answered, 

"You have said one or two things that suggest you want both of us."

"Yeah." Ethan was slightly confused. Had he not talked about it with them? His drugged memory had a lot of holes where dreams leaked through. "I do. Is that.... Okay?" 

The safe dreams of love and security were crumbling. His stomach twisted. What if they weren't into it?

Ilsa and Benji traded a meaningful look. They both took one of Ethan's hands. Benji kissed his bruised knuckles before saying, in a deadly serious voice, "Well, we've discussed it and..." he became lost for words and looked imploringly at Ilsa as he stalled, "Aaaand what it comes down to is..."

She cleared her throat, stroking Ethan's knuckles with her soft, soft hands. "We just don't know what you had in mind. Do you want to keep it as it is, dating each of us one at a time? Would that be on a schedule or whatever takes your fancy at the moment?"

Ethan tried to sit up, shaking his head. "No. No."

"Rest, darling," Benji ordered. "This can wait until you're better."

"No. I want you both. With me. All of us. Together."

"Oh!" Benji shouted in surprise and giggled at Ilsa. "He went with option C!"

Ilsa smiled. "We thought you might."

Ethan waited, looking back and forth. "And?"

They seemed to get lost in each other's eyes for a second before she said, "And we're interested to see how that works."

"Yeah. How does it work?" Benji asked. "I suppose the simplest rule would be nothing sexy unless all three of us are present."

Ethan shook his head. "I don't think we should be limiting how or when we show affection. The point is to be happy."

"So you're saying it would be totally inbounds for Ilsa 'n me to have sex without you even knowing about it? And vice versa, she won't know about all the filthy stuff you and I get up to."

"Right," Ethan said. "But we wouldn't make any effort to hide what we do."

Ilsa's smile was radiant, "We'll do what feels right."

"Right," Benji grinned "and if it feels right when we're all together..."

"That's the only way it could work." Ilsa agreed. Ethan's jaw had gone slack. They sounded like they were strategizing a mission. The sexiest mission ever.

He stacked all their hands together and then extracted his own. "You two should go... get to know each other. See if it feels right."

Benji's eyebrows went way up and he looked over at Ilsa, who had a cat grin.

****

Ethan dozed on and off, alone in the hospital. He couldn't wait to meet up with Benji and Ilsa. As the hours drew out, his mind went into overdrive trying to imagine what was happening between them right now. What it would be like when he joined them… 

Things with Benji were always intense. People dealt with near death in different ways. For Benji Dunn, surviving was a turn on. He always took Ethan with the volcanic force of a repressed Englishman erupting with euphoria to be alive. 

Ilsa, on the other hand, had a cool, almost aloof way about sex. Strategic. Athletic. Precise. But hungry--oh there was a beast in her, the same as Benji, but she never let it loose. Ethan had been trying for 2 years to set it free. Maybe he never would and that was what he loved. The control.

To have them both--the tame and untamed--would be interesting. Would Benji's wild side unleash hers? Or would Benji become shy and restrain himself like Ilsa? What if they stuck to their individual styles? What would that even be like?

Just after dawn--his discharge was less than official, but he felt fine--Ethan let himself into the house as quiet as smoke. He saw wine glasses in the den, a trail of clothes leading upstairs. Something small and black dangled from the top banister. It was Ilsa's mission bra; tight elastic sports gear. 

Ethan approached the master bedroom like a shadow, heart thudding with anticipation to what he would see in the bed. He slowly peeked around the door jam...

Nothing.

The covers on the bed had been straightened, but the pillows were still beaten into submission. The TV was playing a midday soap opera. 

Mild disappointment clenched his throat, but Ethan moved further into the room and saw Ilsa through the crack in the bathroom door, and her reflection in the mirror. He froze, unseen.

She was wearing nothing but a short silk robe as she dabbed concealer on the bruises from Kashmir. She smiled absently, eyes tilting up to movement in the mirror. Benji stepped up and hugged her from behind. He was wearing a towel around his waist, hair wet from a shower. The angle of the reflection protected Ethan in his hiding spot.

Benji said something low and kissed her neck. She leaned into him. His lips trailed up her neck and he nibbled her ear. Ethan knew just how gentle and ticklish that felt, which made his skin rush even now, just watching. 

Ilsa's chest swelled, nipples suddenly visible under the thin silk, her lips parted slightly. She reached back to hold Benji closer. He moved in, forcing her against the counter. She giggled. His roving hands lifted the hem of the robe enough that Ethan saw the beautiful curve of her ass.

Ilsa twisted enough to lock their mouths together. Benji's moan said it all--she was doing that tongue thing; Ethan just knew it. His pulse quickened.

Benji's hips flexed against her naked ass. She pushed back. Benji lashed an arm around her, which parted the robe enough to reveal one of her perky breasts--then her gasping cry carried through the whole room.

Ethan choked. 

Benji had entered her without losing the tuck of his towel. Ethan lost his breath, and half his mind. How many times had he felt that rigid flesh entering him just like that, so unapologetically, so contrary to Benji's personality? (And how many times had Ilsa already felt it? Benji usually had three locked and loaded after close calls… and none had been as close as Kashmir.)

Ilsa fell forward over the sink, hands to the mirror, weight on her toes, face darkly delighted. Benji's hips were pistons. Ilsa's breathy moans started escalating.

Ethan watched every glorious second of it. The way her wet lips trembled, the way her hair fell against her cheek and neck, the way her breasts bounced, the silk slipping open even more… Benji's toned arms and back flexed as he held her, his big hands played with the silk against her skin. The two held eye contact in the mirror until Benji's expression became desperate. He was close. Ilsa's crooked little smile sent a zing right through Ethan as if he were the one about to come.

"Oh, darling, no," Benji's voice had a rough, hysterical edge, "I can't--I can't--"

"Don't stop!" she ordered desperately, urging his hips to keep their pace. He let out a helpless whine that was quickly drowned out by her cry of ecstasy.

Ethan had never been prouder. His heart was full. His cock was heavy. His head was spinning. They were as compatible together as they each were with him. Thank god.

This could mean… everything he had ever dreamed.

As Benji came down from the climax, he found the robe's tie and whirled the end of it for no other reason than to make her smile.

Ethan smiled too. He grabbed his chest where his heart was spinning with joy. His knees were weak. He sat on the bed, and felt his ribs object which made his breathing hitch. A pained sound escaped him involuntarily.

That small noise alerted Ilsa, who snatched up a nail file as a weapon. Benji stumbled with an expletive and then the bathroom door opened all the way. 

"It's you!" they both exclaimed.

"Scared the daylights out of us!" Benji scolded. He'd lost his towel. His dick was wet and limp.

Ilsa had a hand on her chest, shoulders slumped with relief, breathless for two reasons. "I thought you were an apostle come to settle the score."

Ethan eased himself into a reclined position. That felt a lot better. He grinned. "Sorry, guys. Didn't mean to scare you."

Ilsa looked at the time. "Why didn't you call to say you were leaving the hospital? We would have picked you up."

"He wanted to catch us," Benji said, crossing his arms. The effect was undercut by his nudity.

Ethan grinned, busted. 

Ilsa laughed. It was still fluttery but less nervous. "How long have you been here?"

"Since he got out of the shower," Ethan said happily. 

Benji guffawed. "Did you enjoy the show, then?"

"Never saw anything sexier." he played it back in his head and got goosebumps. "I can't wait until I'm well enough to join in."

"Me either, but you will wait," Benji said sternly. "It was the doctors orders." He gathered some pajama pants which he stepped into commando.

"I'm excited too, but you shouldn't even be out of hospital," Ilsa chastised. She moved to the bedside and stroked the backs of her fingers down Ethan's temple. "You're in pain. I can tell."

"Can I at least cuddle?" Ethan opened his arms. They drew in like magnets and kissed his face as they both settled on either side of him. The jolt and jostle only mildly hurt and Ethan was able to hide it--mostly. They were onto him, though, and kept their body weight off him. He missed it already, but this was a hell of a lot better than being alone in the hospital.

He was so happy he couldn't stop smiling and giggling. "I thought I was an asshole for loving both of you…" his breath stalled, "Was afraid one of you'd get mad and--"

"Ssh, darling, don't worry about that." Benji gave him a proper kiss that made Ethan grab hold of something--what would have usually been the edge of the bed, was now Ilsa's thigh. She rolled into the touch so that his hand went up the silk robe. Naked, tender skin, wet with slick.

Benji broke the kiss but stayed close, combing his hair. "Your heart is too beautiful not to share."

"At least that's what your wife told us." Ilsa said with a smirk.

Ethan huffed. "Oh god. Benji, you told her that nothing happened with us until after--"

"Yes, yes. You were faithful to the end and she knew that. She also knew that Ilsa and I were as scared as she was that you'd die, and she knew what that meant."

Ethan blinked and frowned. "So wait a minute, whose idea was this? Mine or hers?"

Ilsa and Benji chuckled. She ran a finger along his lip and pecked his jaw. "Yours. But she heard about it and fully endorsed it."

His eyebrows pinched. "How did she hear about it?"

"You weren't exactly subtle," Benji laughed. "Kept calling us your babes and saying  _ mènage a trois _ ."

Ethan covered his face. "I don't remember it."

"It was cute," Ilsa promised. 

Ethan closed his eyes until the sting of mortification wore off. It helped to fall backwards into the beautiful interaction he'd witnessed between them. Would it be any hotter next time, when they knew they had an audience?

"Um," he swallowed a weird lump in his throat, unsure how to ask for an encore. He moved the silk robe until he saw a belly button, and the swell of underboob. When he brushed the petal soft skin, she trembled. 

Benji sensed it and dug both elbows into the pillow as he sat up straighter for a better view. Ethan traced her entire breast, saving the nipple for last. She ran her toes down his calf, and gripped the headboard above her.

He knew her to be extra sensitive after multiple orgasms, so he gulped. "So, uh, how many times did you guys…?"

"Three," Ilsa said softly, sounding a little worn out. She moved her lips closer to his ear and spoke softer still, "And look. He's still not soft."

Heart clanging, Ethan cut his eyes over to subtly check it out. And, indeed, Benji's dick was visibly chubby beneath the thin material of the pants. Even after his usual three rounds of thank god I'm alive sex. 

"I can hear you," Benji said. "And I'm getting hard a fourth time watching you touch her... God, Ethan, I can't wait to see a man like you take her when you get your strength back."

"That sounds amazing," she purred. "And having to wait for it," she let out a verbal shudder, "will make it even better."

Ethan exchanged playfully menacing smiles with her.

"Yes it will," Benji agreed. He gave Ethan a partially sympathetic look. "Sorry, buddy, but you're benched for injuries."

Ethan held up his hands in full surrender. He had no complaint here. "I'll just watch."

"What I'd love to watch," she said, moving catlike, light as a feather, over Ethan into Benji's lap, "is you and him together."

Benji held her hips and let out a tripping little laugh. She grinded him through the pjs. "Oh my god. Ethan," Benji reached for him, palming a nipple, "do you know she watches gay porn?"

"Really?"

"Yeah, I just watched it with her!"

Ethan gulped. Sounded like he'd missed one hell of a date. But it pleased him to know that Benji and Ilsa had made such an effort to connect, for him. It just made sense that they should become one. It stopped Ethan from feeling pulled in two directions.

"Let's watch it again." Ilsa suggested.

He shook his head. "I've got something better right here."

She preened prettily, and made sure he could see her breasts which was beyond the call of duty. He licked his finger and played with her nearest nipple. 

Benji freed his own dick and Ilsa put herself on it slowly, stuttering from over sensitivity. Ethan lost sight of her chest as she clutched Benji's shoulders.

"Gently," Ethan ordered.

Benji looked over, alarmed. "Are we jostling you too much?"

He shook his head. "Gently  _ with her _ , Benj. You're wearing her out."

Benji laughed. "Sorry, Ils. These are extenuating circumstances, believe me," he said humbly. "I'm not usually so…"

She arched an eyebrow. Ethan beamed with pride but backed him up, "It's how he deals with nearly dying." 

Ilsa's eyes sparked. "Then we're in the right business, aren't we?"

They all chuckled. Ethan felt a swell of emotion that made him gulp. "This is so-- _ perfect _ … Thank you both, for indulging me. I mean, this feels right, doesn't it?" he didn't like how vulnerable his own voice sounded, "...all three of us?"

Ilsa and Benji both reached out and held him. Her hand on his heart; Benji's on his arm.

Ethan exhaled, "It could have been such a disaster."

It really could have been, but it wasn't, which was why all three of them chortled with pleasure.

"We had selfish motives," Benji assured, arranging her hair to be goddess-like around her shoulders. "Or, at least, I did. What man wouldn't take the chance to make love to Ilsa Faust?"

Ilsa looked back and forth between them slightly slack jawed. "I guess that makes me the noble one here. I only just found out you were married, Ethan, and that you, Benji, were sleeping with him, and instead of getting mad, I'm fucking you both."

The men traded contrite looks and caressed each side of her face. Ethan was speechless with guilt, but Benji purred, "You sexy saint you."

"Really," Ethan said in case that came across as a joke. His chest was tight. "You're a saint."

She shrugged nonchalantly in a way he'd seen her do before when things got too personal. But this time, for once, she didn't change the subject, avoiding eye contact. "I'm flexible and lonely--And just, ready for something meaningful."

This made both men trade a wild look. She had probably not meant to mention loneliness; Ethan could tell by the way she had tried to quickly bury it in the sentence. He levered up, ignoring pain, and kissed her passionately.

Her small, playful tongue made his pulse quicken. A helpless moan slipped out of him. If only he could move his body right now…. Benji bucked his hips suddenly and with power as if reading Ethan's mind. Her gasp broke the kiss. It took Ethan's breath, too. He'd forgotten she was  _ on him _ . Ethan laughed and petted her. 

He and Benji were in complete agreement. Ilsa wasn't getting out of it that easy. If she felt lonely, they were going to fix that for good. 

This thing between them--whatever the hell it was called--would be nothing if not meaningful. Ethan could promise that. He didn't really know any other way. Life was too precious--and this job was too dangerous--to waste time on the casual nonsense he had been attempting.

Ethan trailed his lips over her skin as Benji pushed up into her again, and again. She covered her mouth, but clung to Benji, shaking now. She mouthed weakly, "Please."

Benji glanced at Ethan, who nodded. "Go," he rasped, mouth dry. 

Benji unleashed himself again, but his hips could hardly move any faster due to the position that gave Ilsa the reins, so Benji wound up primal and passionately helpless beneath her equally passionate, but controlled movements. It was as hot as Ethan had imagined, which he told her in a husky voice. She continued to take her pleasure slowly as both of them whispered how much they adored her for opening her heart to them both like this.

Because of a considerate attempt not to jostle Ethan too much, Ilsa and Benji kept a rolling rhythm, deeper than it was fast, and both came quickly, mostly quiet except for gasps and grunts, smiling at Ethan as it happened.

"So fucking beautiful," Benji rasped. Ethan agreed. "You're  _ the most _ amazing woman in the world."

They both combed hair out of her eyes and kissed each corner of her mouth.

"Let us," Benji said. He had said it a few times in the heat of the frenzy, and elaborated this time, "Let us make you as happy as we can. We won't let you down."

"Fine," she said, doing the no eye contact, nonchalant thing again. She eased off of Benji, who sparkled with fondness as he scooted out of the bed.

Ilsa collapsed, exhausted, beside Ethan, who hummed with empathy. He'd been the sole reliever of Benji's lust many times before. It would be good to have a partner to share the brunt of it.

Knowing his thoughts, she said, "Wouldn't know it looking at him," just for Ethan's ears. 

He smiled and agreed with his eyes. Never judge a book by its cover. 

Benji dipped into the bathroom and came back with Ilsa's silk night dress, as well as a damp cloth, a glass of water, and pajamas for Ethan. He found them both on the brink of sleep.

"Okay, my turtle doves, I guess it's bedtime."

"5 more minutes," Ethan teased. Benji turned off the barely audible TV. "Rest. Seriously. We want you better sooner rather than later."

Benji helped him out of his jeans and into the soft clothes. He shifted uncomfortably. "Got any Tylenol?"

"Take two," Benji said, dispensing some pills hidden in the same hand with which he held the glass of water. 

Ethan downed them happily.

"Thanks, babe."

"It's what I'm here for. Ils, do you need anything else?"

She yawned and shook her head. Benji tucked them both in with the kind of patience and care that came with sincerity. Ilsa caught Ethan's eye and they silently exchanged their joy over having him to share.

"Wait," she said, "Give me a kiss."

Benji pecked her sweetly on the lips and then did the same to Ethan.

"There's no way I can sleep yet. You two have got me so wired."

"You're a machine," Ilsa purred.

Benji smiled. "I'm going down stairs for a night cap. I'll join you when I'm ready."

He turned out the lights and left the door slightly ajar. A few minutes later, Ethan heard opera music floating up the stairs.

He felt Ilsa scoot close enough to rest her head on his shoulder. Then, breathing in her scent and listening to the rapturous music, he let sleep take him.


End file.
